Today I celebrate six years cancer free.
At times it has been easy,
easy to forget the fear and struggle that came with diagnosis and treatment.
Other times it has been difficult,
difficult to remember the pockets of hope that come with remission.
For within peace, there lies chaos.
Life loves to stir the pot, rock the boat, press every button.
It gives and takes. Pushes or pulls. Hurts then heals.
Surviving has not made me perfect,
it has made me purposeful.
I have been gifted clearer eyes with which to view my world
Parts of me are better than before,
others not so much.
I do not always like what I see,
but I love who I am.
I have changed. There is no doubt I have changed.
It is impossible not to…
I have always been curious,
but cancer gave me insight.
I was always outspoken,
but cancer amplified the voice
within my mind and heart.
Yes, I have changed the way I live and love and spend my time.
Some believe I no longer care enough but the truth is this:
I care too much.
So much that I made the decision to release the hurt, let negativity go –
from people, things, emotions.
I do not have much time.
No one does.
The moments that matter? Limited.
They come in waves and I choose to get lost in them. Swim in their joy.
We all have choices. Whether right or wrong, they are ours to make.
We all have this one life. Whether short or long, it is ours to take.
Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash